


In Memoriam

by CrimsonAkane



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Blood, Canonical Character Death, Depressing, Drabble, F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28726506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonAkane/pseuds/CrimsonAkane
Summary: Suzaku will never be the same after losing her. He knows this truth deep down within himself.
Relationships: Euphemia li Britannia/Kururugi Suzaku
Kudos: 5





	In Memoriam

Euphy’s death couldn’t be real. This had to be some sort of horrible dream that Suzaku couldn’t wake from. Even though he had seen her, seen the life drain from her eyes, the warmth leave her delicate hand.

He had sat there longer than anyone. He hadn’t been able to let go of her hand.

Suzaku’s suit was soaked in her blood, stuck to his skin, and yet he couldn’t take it off. The ghost of himself stared back at him from the mirror; dead, hollow eyes and sallow skin. Who was he without her now? A failed knight, an honorless knight. His lady, his love, dead in another room, and yet he still drew breath. In what world was that fair considering everything he had done? Finally, he stepped back and mechanically reached for the buttons on his jacket and started to unclasp them. How many more times would he be covered by the blood of people he loved?

The air in the bathroom was cool and as he stripped, bare skin pimpling with the temperature change. Her blood colored his his skin because of how much had soaked through. Cecile’s voice had been kind in his ear minutes ago, telling him to leave the clothes outside his door and she would take care of the rest. He bagged up his clothes, save his pin, and left them outside the bathroom door before turning on the shower, twisting the knob to make the water as hot as he could. It wouldn’t be enough to burn the dirty sensation off his skin. Logically, he knew that but it was worth a try.

He allowed himself to step into the spray and hung his head, watching her blood wash from his skin and circle the drain. The last traces of her vanishing in the blink of an eye. Suzaku’s eyes burned with the threat of tears yet none fell; maybe he had no more tears left to give today. VV’s words sat heavily on his shoulders. Geass seemed almost too… fantastic but it explained some of the unexplainable happenings lately. It explained the lapse in his memory surrounding Kamine Island. It explained why everyone had missing memories.

It explained why she had become someone else in her last hours.

Suzaku’s fist slammed into the shower’s wall. And again. And again until his knees gave out from under him. Kneeling on the floor, letting the water beat down on him. He should have been faster, stronger, better. He had been unworthy of her.

_ I hereby command you to love me. And in return, I will love you forever. _

His breath stalled in his chest.

_ I love your stubbornness, and your kindness, and your strength. _

A crushing weight settled on his shoulders.

_ I love your sad eyes, your clumsiness, and the way you have trouble with cats. I love everything about you. _

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “Euphy…”

**Author's Note:**

> I made myself sad. Also one day, I will be able to routinely update, yeah? <3


End file.
